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Unreal - The Novel

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User avatar Bombadilian
Skaarj Lord Skaarj Lord
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Location: Spawning Nalis in DMAriza and then taunting them with a rifle for my own amusement

Subject: Unreal - The Novel

Post Posted: 29 Sep 2017, 00:18

Soon to be found in bookstores and, doubtless, adapted for the big screen very soon.
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There was a guy called Prisoner 849, who might actually have been a lady. He was wrongly accused of a crime and sentenced to go to some prison moon (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that this happens way in the future). So they stick him on this shitty prison transport vessel to take him there but the crew manage to get the ship mired up in the gravitational pull of a planet called Na Pali.
The ship crashes with the loss of most on board. Those who do survive get slaughtered by the planet's hostile inhabitants but 849 manages to find lots of contemporary weaponry and other shit. He fights his way to an escape pod, only for it to run out of fuel. Oh dear.
The End.

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Yeah, somebody call Paramount.
'Well, there goes our grant money.'

User avatar Xanious
Skaarj Warrior Skaarj Warrior
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Subject: Re: Unreal - The Novel

Post Posted: 29 Sep 2017, 04:21

You do realize there actually were two unreal books, right?
"Anything's a quote if you try hard enough. Wait, shit!"

User avatar Bombadilian
Skaarj Lord Skaarj Lord
Posts: 202
Joined: 23 Oct 2008, 01:02
Location: Spawning Nalis in DMAriza and then taunting them with a rifle for my own amusement

Subject: Re: Unreal - The Novel

Post Posted: 29 Sep 2017, 07:57

I'm sure you'll agree that the imagining presented here far surpasses any and all previous attempts to novelise the harrowing story of Prisoner 849.
'Well, there goes our grant money.'

User avatar SteadZ
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Subject: Re: Unreal - The Novel

Post Posted: 29 Sep 2017, 10:14

I don't know about a book or movie, but this sure sounds like it would make a great game! :P

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SZ
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User avatar Bombadilian
Skaarj Lord Skaarj Lord
Posts: 202
Joined: 23 Oct 2008, 01:02
Location: Spawning Nalis in DMAriza and then taunting them with a rifle for my own amusement

Subject: Re: Unreal - The Novel

Post Posted: 29 Sep 2017, 11:03

I do see your point Mr Steadz sir, but surely having read Unreal - The Novel you have found yourself more gripped, more emotionally invested and your very outlook on life so irrevocably changed that you cannot even begin to contemplate entertaining any other recounting of 849's heartbreaking story?
'Well, there goes our grant money.'


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